Holyflaps
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'I always wake up full of gratitude. Then I remember eew people'
'What turns you on? Competence. Filthy fucking competence'
'Age has taught me patience. People have taught me it's fucking limits'
'What's the first thing you notice about someone?'
'I have big plans. Quite ambitious for someone lying down'
'I am perfectly capable of being articulate. Cunt is just much quicker'
'I am learning to trust my instincts'
'I used to really like you. That was fucking optimistic'
'I've made peace with the past. It can still fuck off though'
'I don't have anything against stupid people.'
'Family. Because apparently blocking everyone makes Christmas tricky'
'I've stopped expecting people to have common sense'
'Practice random acts of kindness today'
'People say I'm hard to read. Good. I'm not a fucking book'
'I have absolutely no problem admitting when I'm wrong. ...I imagine'
'I'm not negative. I'm accurately fucking underwhelmed'
'ChatGPT said your Mum is a slag'
'What do you do for a living? I do my best Sue. I do my best'
'Some people bring joy wherever they go. Some whenever they go'
'...has seen better days..." Your face'
'If you need a problem I'm right fucking here'
'I'd answer the phone after 9pm for you'
'I'm a fucking lovely person. This is just testing'
'Menopause. All the hormones of puberty. None of the skin elasticity'