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'I've made peace with the past. It can still fuck off though'
'I don't have anything against stupid people.'
'Family. Because apparently blocking everyone makes Christmas tricky'
'I've stopped expecting people to have common sense'
'Practice random acts of kindness today'
'People say I'm hard to read. Good. I'm not a fucking book'
'I have absolutely no problem admitting when I'm wrong. ...I imagine'
'I'm not negative. I'm accurately fucking underwhelmed'
'ChatGPT said your Mum is a slag'
'What do you do for a living? I do my best Sue. I do my best'
'Some people bring joy wherever they go. Some whenever they go'
'...has seen better days..." Your face'
'If you need a problem I'm right fucking here'
'I'd answer the phone after 9pm for you'
'I'm a fucking lovely person. This is just testing'
'Menopause. All the hormones of puberty. None of the skin elasticity'
'Of all the shit I've found on the internet. You are my fucking favourite'
'Due to personal reasons. Fuck this shit'
'I love surprises. Not visitors. Fuck off!'
'I bent down to pick something up. Anyway I live here now'
'I'd choose you again. Which raises fucking concerns'
'I've learnt that not every thought needs to be said out loud.'
'Ginger Cunt' Cup & Saucer set'
'Vintage 'My Fucking Cake' Cake Plate'
'Vintage 'Country Cunts' Plate'
'Vintage 'Cunt' Cup & Saucer set'
'My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to cunts that needs work'
'Forgive & Forget doesn't work for me. Fuck off and shit out a cactus works....'
'Sometimes I think of something so wrong and inappropriate...'
'Apologies my good bitch, but what seems to be the fuck?'
'Some people handle stress with yoga, meditation and long walks...'
'I tried to put myself in your shoes. But they were cheap and I looked like a..'
'To Do List: 1. Buy a potato. 2. Call it 'Kindness. 3. Throw it at people...'
'Sometimes the most soul cleansing, spiritual thing you can do is...'
'...and yet despite the look on my face you're still fucking talking?'
'If at first you don't succeed try doing it the way your wife told you...'
'I just want people to fuck off while I binge watch serial killer documentaries'
'I used to smell of Chanel. Now I just smell of Zoflora, bleach & broken dreams'
'A poem for mornings. Tea, Tea, Tea. Tea. Tea, Tea. Everyone fuck off. Tea.'
'Current Mood: Not today you peasant slag'
'Bees don't waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit'
'None of your emails are finding me well'
'I have the patience of a Saint. Saint Cunty McFuckoff.'
'Chin up. Tits out. Onwards.'
'I Love coffee. Coffee doesn't ask me stupid fucking questions in the morning.'
'Never be too generous with your energy, time and vagina'
'We can literally only be friends if you are a bit of a cunt...'
'I don't hate you enough to wish you dead, but hoping you shit yourself...'
'People: You look son unapproachable. Me:...and yet here you fucking are.'
'What, from the bottom of my heart, the fuck?'
'I'm just an awkward, foul-mouthed, sarcastic fucking delight'
'Them: 'What's the first thing you notice when someone approaches you?...'
'Relax. We're all cunts here. It's not a competition.'
'Narcissist: A more polite term for a self serving, manipulative piece of shit'
'We are going to be best friends forever until we're old and grey...'
I shit you not. Some people have the power to turn me into a hoofwanking...'
'Will I ever work on my swearing? Absolutely Fucking Not!'
'Hi. I don't care. Thanks'
'What kind of fuckery is this?'
'You Croc wearing Cunt'
'I fucking love you you cunt'
'I'm mostly Peace, Love & Light... and a little 'Go Fuck Yourself''
'Never judge a book by it's cover...well that's a cunt if ever I saw one'
'In a sudden flash of clarity and horror'
'Don't bite the hand that fingers you'
'You're 21! But in washing machine minutes'
